


Shadows of Past Anxieties

by Wasthereever



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluffy, Hurt/Comfort, I wanted mirsan hurt comfort fluff so I wrote some, Nightmares, Post canon, basically just mirsan comforting eachother and helping eachother get through the trauma, pre-babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wasthereever/pseuds/Wasthereever
Summary: Even when Naraku is finally defeated, the fear lingers in their bones. Fortunately, Miroku and Sango can find comfort in each other.
Relationships: Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Shadows of Past Anxieties

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a nostalgia fandom kick, so I went ahead and wrote some MirSan. MirSan was the first pairing I actively searched for fanfiction on, so it's weird that I never wrote them until now.
> 
> please enjoy this self-indulgent fluff fest!
> 
> Also: For anyone waiting for me to update my other fics..... sorry and please be patient!

Long before the thought of sharing her futon had crossed his mind, Miroku had known Sango was a not a restful sleeper. He had heard her cry out for her lost family in her sleep after they first met her and seen her toss and turn in the night from the other side of the campfire throughout their journey.

It wasn’t something they talked about, but none of their companions were sound sleepers after everything they had been through. While Kagome seemed able to rest untroubled when Miroku first joined the group, even she had become more and more uneasy to close her eyes as time went on and she witnessed more horrors. Miroku hadn’t failed to notice how Inuyasha would always sleep facing the door when they had shelter, and how he occasionally mumbled something that sounded suspiciously close to ‘Kikyo’ in his sleep. Even Shippo had his fair share of nightmares, but unlike the others he was not above asking for comfort upon awakening.

They waited until Naraku was gone to spend nights together. It had been tempting to ask Sango if he could hold her when they slept once they were engaged, but Miroku had restrained himself. He knew one thing could easily lead to another, and Sango was likely not ready for such things yet. Another reason to hold back had been the constant close presences of their companions while they chased after Naraku. Miroku hadn’t thought Sango was the type to tolerate an audience for intimate interactions, and Inuyasha definitely wasn’t the type to want to watch.

Still, he had been tempted to wake Sango to pull her out of whatever horror she might have been revisiting in her sleep whenever he noticed she was sleeping fitfully. It had bothered him to leave her to her nightmares, but Miroku knew Sango wouldn’t want such things to be brought to the attention of the whole group. The most he had been able to do for her was sleep close enough to reach out and grab her hand or stroke her hair when it seemed particularly bad for her.

The nightmares didn’t end when Naraku was defeated. It wasn’t surprising, given how long they had been living with fear and uncertainty, that peace would take time to adjust to. Now, at least, they had no reason to withhold affection from each other. Now that they had their own small house in Kaede’s village, they could be as open and affectionate with each other as they pleased.

“Don’t do it-“ Sango muttered in her sleep, a few days after the final battle, once they had finally settled into their new home. Although they had fallen asleep wrapped around each other, Sango had rolled to the far edge of the futon. “It’s not worth it, you’ll die!”

Miroku scooted over to her and pulled her back into his arms. He kissed her forehead softly before bringing his lips to her ear.

“I won’t.” He whispered gently. “I’ll never open it again, Sango, I promise.”

“Please,” She muttered, still lost in sleep. “Don’t leave me, Houshi-sama!”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He murmured, pushing a strand of hair out of Sango’s face so he could kiss her cheek. “Not when you haven’t fulfilled your promise and born my child yet, Sango. Not when we have so much of our lives left to share with each other. Not when I love you so desperately”

Finally, Sango’s eyes opened and she slowly came back to him. She didn’t lean into his embrace, as he expected, but put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him away. At first, he was confused, but when she began to move her hand down his arm he understood. He lifted his hand to meet hers, watching as she ran her thumb along his palm and then lifted it up to her eyes to confirm one more time that his hand was whole.

“It’s gone.” Miroku reassured her. “We’ll never have to worry about that curse again.”

Sango let out a breath and let go of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” She murmured, a slight redness creeping onto her cheeks. “I had a nightmare. It was stupid.”

Before she could turn away from him back onto her other side, Miroku wrapped his arm back around her waist and pulled her close.

“It’s not stupid.” He said against her ear. “It’s a normal, natural reaction to living with that hanging other our heads for so long.” He brought his mouth to hers.

“Thank you.” She whispered against his lips. She returned his embrace, burying her face in his chest. He stroked her hair for a bit, then when he was sure she was calm enough to take it with good humor, reached down and gave her ass a playful squeeze. He felt her giggle sleepily against his chest.

*

Sango hadn’t realized how many deep-set habits Miroku had formed around his right hand until the curse was gone. She had noticed the way he would absent-mindedly touch the beads on his wrist throughout the day, but never thought it was anything significant. She had never stopped to think what struggles he might have adjusting to life without the curse, focusing all her energy on defeating Naraku so he could live.

Sango knew all of her companions carried ghosts of past memories that still haunted them. Horrible experiences that lingered in their minds. She did her best not to pry much, knowing too well that sometimes the only way to be strong was to focus on what they could do now. She did her best to think positively during the day, not letting her thoughts stray to the past too much. But in sleep her conscience often betrayed her, bringing to the surface all the fears and memories she tried hard not to think about during the her waking hours. She had hoped that all her nightmares would finally disappear when Naraku was gone, but she was mistaken. The anxiety lingered in her bones, even in peaceful moments. It surprised and annoyed her.

But what surprised her more was when she saw the same lingering anxiety in her husband. When they were chasing after Naraku Miroku had always seemed so calm and brave, so free of fear, so collected. Sango had wished he would be more afraid for himself. Sometimes, especially in the days leading up to their final battle with Naraku, she felt that she had to worry about him, since he seemed to have so little concern for his own safety. In the rare moments when he did lose his cool, it had nearly always been out of concern for her or their companions, never for himself.

During the days after they defeated Naraku, Sango slowly came to understand that Miroku had had nightmares just like she had, but he had had more time to learn to hide it, to find ways to console himself. His main method had been touching the beads to reassure himself that his windtunnel was sealed.

Sango was awoken one night when Miroku’s hand slipped off of her waist and grabbed frantically for his right wrist, where he used to wear his arm guard and rosary. His movement was so sharp and sudden that she thought there might be a demon nearbyat first, but she sensed nothing. After a few moments, she realized what was going on. Gently but firmly, she reached down and took his right hand in hers.

“Sango don’t-“ Miroku hissed, trying to pull away. “you’ll-“

“I won’t.” She said softly. “It’s gone. Your hand is whole.” She stroked his palm with her thumb and then brought the hand up to her face and kissed it. She laced their fingers together and then brought his face to hers for a kiss using her other hand. Miroku sighed into the kiss, the tension finally leaving his body. When their lips parted, he buried his face in her neck. She gave his hand a squeeze.

“Did they happen a lot before?” Sango asked softly. “When Naraku was alive, did you have nightmares then? You always seemed so… so calm.” He nodded into her shoulder. “I’m ashamed I never noticed.”

Miroku raised his head to meet her gaze. Even in the darkness, she was close enough to see the sweat on his brow.

“I had many years to find methods to deal with it when I travelled alone.” Miroku finally said. It made sense. Unlike Sango’s grief, which had been fresh when they met, Miroku had grown up in the shadow of the curse.

“Like checking your beads?” She asked, stroking his cheek with her left hand, her right hand still clasping the hand which so recently had been cursed.

“Yes, that was one of my strategies. You’re very observant.” He confirmed.

“One of them?” She said, “what were the others?”

“They weren’t very important.” Miroku sighed, drawing back from her a little.

“If they helped you, they couldn’t be unimportant.” She said, confused. “I was just wondering if there was anything that worked before, that you could still use now, since you don’t wear the beads anymore. And I was also just curious.”

“Being here with you helps me immeasurably.” Miroku murmured, bringing their clasped hands up so he could kiss her knuckles. “I didn’t want to make you upset by mentioning my past, er, pursuits. You are a better comfort than anything I have ever used to distract myself in the past.”

Sango rolled her eyes, laughing softly. “Let me guess,” She whispered. “You flirted with women to distract yourself from this.” She finished, squeezing his hand again.

“You are correct.” He admitted, smiling apologetically.

“I’m not mad.” She told him. “It was in the past, and I can’t blame you for it. I know I’ve been upset before, but I Know I can trust you now. Hell, a part of me is even grateful to those women, for helping you. Not to mention, I’m sure those experiences also helped refine your talents in bedroom matters.”

The laugh that burst forth from Miroku cut through the quiet night.

“You never cease to surprise me, Sango.” He let go of her hand so that he could hold her face in both his hands and bring it to his for another kiss.

“You’re here with me now, and that’s what matters.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> You can find my Inuyasha opinions on my anime tumblr @tsubame-go! Come chat with me!
> 
> Also please comment.


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